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Alexandra’s Birth Story – Part 2

So Part 1 of Alex’s birth story left off with Jake and I heading over to the hospital to meet my midwife, Nicole, for an induction.  It was a strange feeling leaving the house and driving to the hospital without being in labour at all!  In a way it was nice not to have to drive with contractions.  It was easy to call my parents and ask them to come over and watch the boys – it wasn’t the middle of the night, no one had to rush!

We arrived at the hospital around 6:30 PM and headed to triage.  Here’s how the night unfolded:

6:30 PM

Nicole hooked me up for a non stress test.  This involved watching the baby’s heart rate and movement over half an hour.  The baby looked perfect on this test, and this meant that the induction could go ahead.

8:00 PM

A room opened for me on the labour and delivery floor.  We headed over to the room.  To my surprise, it was the exact same room I had for Benjamin’s birth – lucky number 18!  Number 18 has special significance in the Jewish religion – it represents life and therefore quite a fitting room for the occasion.   The room was tiny, crowded, old, run down, worn out – there wasn’t even a pillow on the bed and we couldn’t find an unclaimed one anywhere else on the floor.  This didn’t phase me much – I wasn’t planning on spending much time lying down in bed.  The room was adequate and I was hoping I wouldn’t be spending too much time there.

9:30 PM

First step in the induction process was getting an IV.  This was necessary because at 37 weeks I had tested positive for GBS and therefore required a dose of IV antibiotics.  The insertion of the IV really hurt – but I knew I had much more painful things ahead of me that evening!

10:00 PM

The antibiotics were done, and my IV line was disconnected, but a saline lock was left in my hand in case I needed another dose.  It was uncomfortable to leave the line in my hand, but there was no other choice.  As the night progressed, I would forget it was even there.  Nicole suggested that I have a little rest at this time, to give the antibiotics time to work and so that I would have the energy necessary for labour.  I lay down and tried to rest, but I was quite excited and unable to sleep.  Instead, I ate a banana, a Larabar and drank a lot of Nuun.  Felt like preparation for a half-marathon!

11:00 PM

The time had come to break my water.  As soon as Nicole did this, I immediately felt a pop and a contraction.  It was amazing how quickly my body responded!  Regular contractions followed.  They weren’t very painful right away, but they were certainly uncomfortable.

From 11:00 PM to 1:00 AM, the contractions came regularly every 3 minutes or so.  They increased in intensity over time.  I had to be hooked up to an electronic fetal monitoring machine, to monitor baby’s heart rate.  This was the hospital’s protocol for an induction.  It was a bit of nuisance to be hooked up to wires, but Nicole ensured that I could still move around and remain upright, rather than being limited to lying in bed.  This was very important to me.  Contractions when you are lying down hurt 1,ooo,ooo times more than contractions when you are standing up.  Moving around and standing up allowed my baby to move into an optimal position, and I believe this helped to minimize pain during contractions. At around 1:00 AM the contractions were quite painful, but always bearable.  The reason for this was that I always had a break in between contractions to regain the strength needed to tackle the next one.  I knew that each contraction meant my cervix was dilating further, and that I was one step closer to meeting my baby.  I was becoming a little bit worried though, as it had only been 2 hours of labour, and I wasn’t sure that I could handle the pain for too much longer.

1:00 AM

Nicole asked me if I wanted to be checked to determine my progress so far.  She said that I shouldn’t get my hopes up too much because it had only been 2 hours since she broke my water.  I said definitely YES!  I needed to know how far I was. However, I remembered vividly from Benjamin’s birth that lying down to be checked was extremely uncomfortable.  Nicole suggested that I climb up on the bed, but remain in a hands and knees position.  This worked out quite well and was much better than lying down, and felt just as good as standing up.

Nicole checked me and we were all shocked to learned that I was already 10 cm.  She asked if I felt ready to push, and at the point I did not.  She said let’s just wait a bit until my body was ready.  She called my second midwife, Noushin, to come down to the hospital.

1:05 AM

After a strong contraction – I went from not needing to push, to needing to push right away.  I told Nicole and Jake that this baby was coming soon!  Nicole called to the nurses station to ask for a respiratory therapist to come and help since it looked like Noushin would not be at the hospital in time for the birth.

1:15 AM

After a few more strong contractions, I yelled out:  This baby is coming RIGHT NOW.  Nicole picked up the phone to tell the respiratory therapist to come immediately, but there was no time for that.  Almost involuntarily, I gave a small push and out came Alex’s head, followed shortly after by the rest of her body.  Jake and Nicole were not expecting it to happen so fast – Nicole caught the baby with one hand and Jake didn’t even see Alex come out.  Nicole and Jake helped me out of the hands and knees position and I lay down in bed.  Alex was placed immediately on my chest skin to skin and we were all in a bit of shock.

The respiratory therapist came into the room a couple minutes after the birth.  I said to her:  That was amazing and so much fun!  She told me she hasn’t heard new moms say that before.  I truly felt great at that moment – so many endorphins were running through my body and my baby high was starting.

Alex and I snuggled for about an hour after birth.  She latched on immediately and nursed like a pro.  Noushin arrived and she and Nicole took care of all the paper work that needed to be done.  After an hour, Noushin did the new baby exam on Alex and we learned that she weighed 5 lbs 10 oz.  This corresponded to 2551 grams.  We were quite happy  – if she had been under 2500 grams we would have to stay in the hospital for 24 hours.  We were ready to go home!

4:45 AM

Noushin wheeled me to the door in a wheelchair and it was time to take Alex home.     Alexandra didn’t make a peep on the way home.  My parents heard us come in and came downstairs to meet their new granddaughter.  Dylan followed shortly after at around 6:00 AM and was immediately in love with his new sister.  Benny woke up at 7:00 AM and was a bit more cautious about the stranger in his house.  It was so wonderful to be at home, eating my own food, resting in my own bed, and showering in my own bathroom.

Final Thoughts

After weeks of worrying, both about the initial breech presentation, and subsequently about Alexandra’s size, I was so thankful that she had safely joined us and that she was perfectly healthy, despite being little.  We will never know why she was little – the placenta and cord both looked good.  She is already growing so much – she reached her birthweight before she turned one week old.

I am so grateful that I was able to have a natural birth again, without medication.  I was so concerned that I would require either pitocin or an epidural, and I am so glad I didn’t need either.  I know people think it is crazy to even consider a birth without an epidural.  I don’t think I accomplished anything special by not needing one – I think anyone can do it with proper information,  an open mindset and lots of support from a partner and health care provider.  Jake and Nicole didn’t doubt me once and kept telling me I was doing a phenomenal job.  I thank them both, and Noushin as well, for all of their help and their love during all 39 weeks of my pregnancy.

Alex at one week old

Alex at one week old

And now we adjust to life with three kids.  It is crazy, tiring, amazing and wonderful.  I feel like our family is complete and look forward to watching Alexandra grow up, alongside her two big brothers.

Photos by Kelly Fischstein.

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Alexandra’s Birth Story – Part 1 – The Background Info

So, ya….a lot has happened since I last posted in February. To summarize the most important parts briefly – I got pregnant with baby #3, experienced 39 weeks of pregnancy, and had a baby girl last week!

Needless to say, we are overjoyed with the safe arrival of our brand new daughter. I feel like the luckiest mama in the world to have two wonderful boys and now and a healthy little girl. The hormones are definitely flowing and each time I look at my new baby, my eyes well up with tears and I am so grateful.

And now for her birth story.

It starts back at 31 weeks when Alexandra presented herself in a breech position. She stayed in this position until 36 weeks, and for those 5 weeks I was extremely stressed out at the prospect of a breech birth. I was not interested in a c-section at all, and was very skeptical about the idea of a vaginal breech birth. It would require transfer of care from my midwife to an OB, and the birth would have to take place in an OR…the whole thing made me want to cry whenever I thought about it.

What did I do from weeks 31-36? I swam 3-4 times a week, I saw a chiropractor regularly and I did some yoga moves involving inversions. I can’t say exactly what did it, but I was thrilled when I went for a checkup at 36 weeks and Alex’s head was down. This was confirmed the next day at an ultrasound.

However, at the same ultrasound, Alexandra was measuring small, in the 10th percentile. This meant I had to go for another ultrasound at 37 weeks, and then another at 38 weeks to keep an eye on her, with an induction on the radar if she dropped from the 10th percentile. I know that there are people out there who enjoy ultrasounds and feel reassured by them, but they stressed me out immensely. I kept worrying that they would find something bad at each one! The ultrasounds at week 37 and 38 were OK…she was still looking small but everything seemed fine. I was worried about an induction – I really wanted to have a natural, drug free, intervention free birth, like the one I had withBenjamin .This seemed to be slipping away from me. I was also of course and more importantly very worried about the baby – how was she doing in there? Did she need to come out?

At week 39 I went for another ultrasound, and this time Alexandra had dropped from the 10th percentile to the 5th percentile. This concerned the OB that reviewed the ultrasound, and he suggested at this point that I be induced and not wait any longer. He wanted to make sure that the baby could tolerate labour, and there was a chance that if we waited too long, this would not be possible.

So here I was, at 39 weeks plus 5 days…I called my midwife after the ultrasound, and she agreed with the OB that it was time to be induced. So we made a plan to meet at the hospital and get this show on the road! At this point it was already almost 5pm. I went home to get a quick bite to eat, and to pick Jake up. And we headed down to the hospital at around 6pm. To be continued…

 


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Giveaway – Glamourmom Nursing Bra Full Bust Long Top – $49 ARV

This is a joint giveaway with Little Snowflakes and Natural Parents Network. You may enter at one site only. Please find the section
marked “Win it!” for the mandatory entry and optional bonus entries.

Glamourmom is offering our readers a giveaway of a nursing tank, a value of $49. Glamourmom tanks are fabulous nursing tanks that provide the support of a built in bra, along with a tank top to cover your tummy!

After you’ve entered this giveaway, be sure to check out the giveaway of a Glamourmom Nursing Bra Long Tank over at Code Name: Mama and NursingFreedom.org!

My review:

I’ve always been a firm believer in the idea that you don’t need much gear to have a successful breastfeeding relationship. You need a mom, and a baby, and perhaps a few sleepers and some diapers. You need perseverance, patience, support from family and friends, and the phone number of a skilled International Board Certified Lactation Consultant or a La Leche League Leader if you run into trouble.

That being said, there are some great products out there that can make breastfeeding easier and that can help a new mom feel good about herself! One of those great products is a Glamourmom Nursing Tank.

Glamourmom was started in 2000 after its founder, Line Rothman, gave birth to her daughter. She was looking for something that would provide support and easy access to her breasts, while at the same time covering her postpartum tummy. So she designed a nursing tank with a supportive bra. This was something that did not exist at the time!

I feel very lucky that I have been given a Glamourmom nursing tank to review. Ever since it arrived in the mail a couple weeks ago, I have been wearing my Glamourmom Nursing Bra Full Bust Long Top around the clock!

This nursing tank has lots of fantastic features! It contains a full, built-in nursing bra with an adjustable band and adjustable straps. It provides extra support in the bust area as compared to Glamourmom’s other tanks and tops. It is cut long – the website states that it reaches to mid thigh. I have a long torso and found that it just covers my bum. It is made from thick, stretchy fabric – 92% cotton and 8% elastane.

I have been wearing this tank non-stop! I’ve worn it to sleep and I’ve worn it during the day. The built in bra provides good support for daily activities, although I wouldn’t recommend it for high impact exercise, such as running. It is comfortable enough to wear at night – I personally undid the clasps at the back of the band at night for extra comfort.

Here are some of the things I liked and disliked about the product.

Likes:

  • I love that the built in bra provides support for us moms with a bit more on top! The full-support bra, the adjustable band, and the thick straps all make for a very comfortable and supportive product.
  • The nursing clips are very easy to open and close with one hand.
  • The neckline of the product is just perfect – high enough to not show cleavage, low enough to be flattering.
  • The adjustable band is a unique and very useful and practical feature of this tank. Most moms will find that their band will change dramatically during the first few months postpartum. I love that each mom can customize her own fit with the band as her body changes, so that she will always experience support and comfort.
  • The fabric of this product is just right. It is thick, stretchy, and it hugs the body without being clingy. This means that it would stretch nicely and provide support and coverage to a postpartum tummy, but would not be too loose once that tummy starts to disappear.
  • I also love the choice of colors. Basic black or white would be a great staple in any wardrobe, but there are also some fun and flattering colors, like the Grape Galore that I tried.

Dislikes:

Honestly, there are very few things that I dislike about this product. The only thing that I didn’t love is the built in inner layer of the bra that contains a hole for your breast and nipple to come out of when nursing. Glamourmom calls in an inner soft cup frame. It’s hard to explain – you can see a picture of it below, along with a description of the Glamourmom products:

I found this inner layer to be a bit itchy, although I did get used to it and it felt less itchy after washing it a few times. It does provide some extra coverage on the top of the breast when nursing, so perhaps some moms might like this feature.

All in all, I would say that this is a great product. I’ve tried a few other nursing tanks, and this one is the best I’ve found. The supportive bra, the adjustable band, the long length, and the thick fabric make it hard to beat! I’d recommend this tank to any mom looking for a comfortable yet supportive nursing tank. Layer another shirt on top, and you can very easily nurse in public! Lift the top layer up, lower the bra and feed your baby, without showing any tummy or breast.

The stretchy fabric and adjustable band means that this tank will easily take you from early postpartum days far into your breastfeeding relationship. Yes, you could wear a nursing bra, with a regular tank over it, and another shirt on top. Yes, you could just undo your bra and pull your regular tank down underneath the breast, and pull your top shirt over the breast. I do this all the time, and it works, although my shirts tend to get stretched out and wrinkled. The process becomes easier using a Glamourmom Nursing Tank, and a nursing tank can certainly help a mom feel more confident nursing in public, especially in the early days.

Be sure to check out some of Glamourmom’s other products – their bras, pajamas, and other nursing tanks all look fabulous . . . and even a little bit GLAMOROUS!

BUY IT!

You can get the Nursing Bra Full Bust Long Top and more by ordering directly from Glamourmom’s website. Amazon also carries several Glamourmom products.

Glamourmom does offer free shipping on orders over $50.

WIN IT!

For your own chance to win a Nursing Bra Full Bust Long Top from Glamourmom, enter by leaving a comment and using our new Rafflecopter system on NPN.

One winner will receive a Nursing Bra Full Bust Long Top. Contest is open to United States residents only.

MANDATORY ENTRY: Tell us what you would buy at Glamourmom! You must enter your name and email address in the Rafflecopter entry system for your entry to count, after leaving a comment on this blog post.

Leave a valid email address so we can contact you if you win. Email addresses in Rafflecopter are not made publicly visible. Please leave the same valid email address in your mandatory comment so we can verify entries. If on Blogger, you can enter it like this to foil spambots: mail {at} naturalparentsnetwork {dot} com

This is a joint giveaway with Little Snowflakes and Natural Parents Network. You may enter at one site only, and we’ll be recording IP addresses to ensure that there are no duplicate entries. That said, please do visit and enjoy all three sites!

BONUS ENTRIES:
See the Rafflecopter entry system for bonus entries to increase your chance of winning after completing the mandatory entry. All bonus entries are entered directly into Rafflecopter. Just click “Click for instructions” for guidance and then “I did this” — any comments or extra information such as URLs can be entered into the “Extra Info” box. Give it a try or visit the Rafflecopter tutorial, and email or leave a comment if you have any questions!

Go to the NPN site to enter Rafflecopter.

Contest closes April 18, 2012 at 12:01 a.m. Eastern Time.

Disclosure: Our reviewer received a sample product for review purposes.
Amazon links are affiliate links.
We try to seek out only products we think you would find
relevant and useful to your life as a natural parent.
If we don’t like a product, we won’t be recommending it to you.
See our full disclosure policy here.


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Birth Matters! Part I

In March, I had the honor of attending a day long seminar at the University of Toronto given by Ina May Gaskin. Ina May is a world renowned midwife, called the “midwife of modern midwifery”. She has practiced midwifery for almost 40 years at the Farm Midwifery Centre in Tennessee. She is the author of some of my personal favorite books about birth and breastfeeding, including Spiritual Midwifery, Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth, Ina May’s Guide to Breastfeeding and her newest book, Birth Matters.

I first came across Ina May after my first son, Dylan, was born.   A few months after his birth, I was browsing the aisles of a local bookstore, and stumbled upon Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth. I picked it up and flipped through the pages, and could not put it down!   I had never read a book about natural childbirth before, and found it so fascinating.  So many of the principles Ina May speaks about in the book rang true to me and helped shed light on my birth experience with Dylan.   The book inspired me to do things differently for my next birth – I knew after reading it that I wanted a midwife, rather than an OB, as my health care provider and I wanted to try and have a natural, drug free birth.   As mentioned in an earlier post, my second birth experience was fantastic, and I definitely owe a lot of that to Ina May!!

So when I heard that Ina May would be speaking in Toronto, I had to go!  Benjamin and I headed down to UofT very early that Saturday morning.  The seminar was all day – from 8:30-4:30 pm, which is a long time to be out with a 3 month old.  But I was determined to go.   I’m so glad that I did – Ina May is a wonderful speaker and is truly an inspiration!

Ina May Speaking

Ina May spoke on a number of different topics – breastfeeding, labour, birth and the post partum period.   She spoke so frankly, and so openly, sprinkled with humour and personal stories.  The day focused on many ideas from her new book Birth Matters.  

I love the opening of Birth Matters.   On page 1, Ina May tells us why we should care about birth:

Birth Matters.  It matters because it is the way we all begin our lives outside of our sources, our mothers’ bodies.  It’s the means through which we enter and feel our first impressions of the wider word.  For each mother, it is an event that shakes and shapes her to her innermost core.  Women’s perceptions about their bodies and their babies’ capabilities will be deeply influenced by the care their receive around the time of their birth.

My Signed Copy of Birth Matters

Ina May shared many positive birth stories.  So often, moms-to-be hear horror stories about pain or about something that went wrong, and not often enough do we share the positive stories!  Ina May says:

I have found it helpful, even necessary, to tell positive birth stories.   This is one of the best ways for women to learn the kids of things that may help or hinder labor and birth.  Stories teach in memorable ways.  In that sense, they are much more valuable than rote learning and memorization.

I agree!  I was really moved by the natural birth stories I had read in Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth.    Before reading that book, every birth story I heard involved an OB, a hospital and an epidural.   I was fascinated by all of the “regular” women in Ina May’s book who gave birth naturally.   If they could do it, why couldn’t I?

In addition to birth stories, Ina May spoke about the importance of birth images and watching videos and seeing pictures of birth.   Interestingly, Ina May showed a You Tube video – The Dramatic Struggle For Life.  It is a video of an elephant giving birth in an animal park in Bali.  (Just warning you that you have to sign in to prove you are over 18 – but it is well worth the effort!)  Ina May suggests that pregnant women view this video, along with other videos of large mammals giving birth.  It’s fascinating to see how birth happens naturally in nature.  Ina May points out how the elephant shifts her weight from foot to foot as she labours.  The elephant also opens her mouth when her baby begins to emerge from her body.   These are two things that humans can do to assist the birth process!  Being in a standing position and shifting weight from side to side helps the baby descend and be in the optimal position. (I definitely remember doing this during Benjamin’s birth. It wasn’t something that my midwives or doulas suggested, I just did it instinctually!)  Opening your mouth helps to relax your body and open up the cervix.  It’s amazing how similar we mammals are when it comes to birth.   The video also demonstrates how the mother figures out how to stimulate her baby to breathe – something she accomplishes without having taken a course in neonatal resuscitation.  Unbelievable really!  We have a lot to learn from this elephant.

I have more to say about Ina May and what I learned at her talk, but if I try to capture everything, I will never publish this blog post.   So consider this to be Part I…Part II (and possibly Part III and IV) to follow at a later date!


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Top 10 Ways to Get Breastfeeding Off To a Good Start

Welcome to the March Carnival of Natural Parenting: Natural Parenting Top 10 Lists

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have shared Top 10 lists on a wide variety of aspects of attachment parenting and natural living. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

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I am often asked by moms-to-be what they can do to prepare for breastfeeding during pregnancy and what they can do during the early days and weeks to ensure that they are able to breastfeed.   While breastfeeding is certainly natural, it is not always easy.   Here are my top 10 tips to help breastfeeding get off to a good start:

  1. Attend a La Leche League (LLL) meeting (or two, or three or four!) during pregnancy - Going to a meeting can be a great way to meet other breastfeeding moms who live near you.   You will hear what it’s really like in the early weeks, and you will learn from the experiences of other moms.  Your group leaders can also be a great resource to you once your baby is born – either via email or phone.
  2. Buy a good baby care or breastfeeding book – Two great books are Dr. Sears’ The Baby Book or LLL’s Womanly Art of Breastfeeding. I found both books full of really useful information about breastfeeding specifically and about taking care of a baby in general.  What I like best about both books is that they empower moms to trust their own mothering instincts and listen to their babies.
  3. Have minimal medical interventions during labour and delivery – Interventions such as c-sections, forceps or vacuum delivery, episiotimies, epidurals and IV lines can all lead to a more difficult recovery during the postnatal period for a mom.   In addition, a natural birth reduces the likelihood that the baby will have to be separated from the mom after birth.  This is very important, as immediate skin to skin contact for an hour after birth has been shown to increase the likelihood of successful breastfeeding.
  4. Hire a birth and/or post-partum doula – Having a doula at birth can enhance bonding between a mother and her baby. This can lead to more positive interactions between mom and baby and can assist in establishing a strong milk supply.   A post natal doula can assist with things that need to get done around the house so that a mom can rest and focus on feeding her baby.   Some doulas also have breastfeeding experience and can help if problems arise.
  5. Know where to go for help –  After birth, have phone numbers handy for your LLL leaders or an IBCLC (International Board Certified Lactation Consultant).
  6. Keep your baby skin to skin for the first hour and delay the new born exam – Babies are quietly alert during the first hour after birth.  Babies who are kept skin to skin for the first hour are likely to latch on, and likely to latch on well.  They also are more likely to have stable and normal heart rates, blood pressure and temperatures.  Studies have shown that babies who are kept skin to skin for the first hour are more likely to breastfeed exclusively longer.
  7. Keep visitors to a minimum during the first couple of weeks – Everyone wants to see a newborn, especially well-meaning family members.   However,  moms need their rest so that they can recover from birth and meet the demands of a new baby.  It’s best to keep visitors to a minimum so mom can focus on two things:  getting sleep and feeding the baby.   If visitors do come over, let them bring over a meal or two, or help around the house.
  8. Keep your baby close during the early weeks and feed often – Feeding your baby on demand is crucial during the first few weeks to establish a strong milk supply.  By keeping your baby close at all times, you can respond to early cues of hunger, rather than waiting for full out crying.  You can’t feed your baby too often, and the more you breastfeed, the more milk you will make for your baby.    C0-sleeping can be a great way to ensure your baby feeds often at night without disturbing your own sleep too much.
  9. Surround yourself with other moms that breastfeed – It’s great to have friends who are currently breastfeeding their babies, or who have breastfed in the past.   They can be a wonderful source of information and encouragement. Sometimes just hearing how someone else is dealing with an obstacle or problem can provide you with enough inspiration to overcome your own difficulties, should they arise.
  10. Don’t give up! The first few months are hard.  I think of the first three months as breastfeeding boot camp where you put in the hard work, and then after that you reap the benefits.

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Carnival of Natural Parenting -- Hobo Mama and Code Name: MamaVisit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:


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Supermom syndrome – at 35 wks pregnant?

A few weeks back I wrote a post about balance and how I attempt to juggle the many different aspects of my life.    My life can sometimes seem like a big balancing act and in the last few weeks that is what it has been – more of an “act” than reality.   

I’m almost 35 weeks pregnant, I work full time, and I have an almost 3 year old son.  I try to exercise, cook and eat healthy, and keep our house in order.  I’ve had a burst of energy in the last few weeks so I’ve been cleaning out closets, going out at night for dinner with friends, and even took a post partum doula training course this past weekend.   Let’s also add that the last few weeks at work have been really busy, trying to get things in before year-end.   No wonder I’ve been exhausted!

I’ve been in denial regarding the extent of my tiredness and the emotional upheaval I’ve been feeling inside.   When people ask me how I feel (as they tend to ask quite often to a pregnant woman), I say I feel good and leave it at that.   I leave out the severe round ligament pain I’ve been feeling for the last few weeks that make it nearly impossible to roll over in bed, the tiredness I feel each night and the insomnia I experience at 3am, leading to more tiredness each morning.   I don’t mention the anxiety I’m starting to feel about having a newborn to take care of while also balancing the constant needs of a rambunctious 3 year old.  No one really wants to hear those things when they ask a pregnant woman how she feels.

Attempting to be supermom near the end of my third trimester really hasn’t done me any good.  I’ve been pretending that it’s no problem keeping the house in order, with laundry done, the dishwasher loaded and emptied each night and having healthy food in the house and on the table every day.  

I should have noticed the warning sign I had last week.  I developed a bad eye twitch  which was making me very nervous.   I managed to convince myself that I was developing pregnancy induced Bell’s Palsy, or pre-eclampsia, or perhaps both.   When I spoke to my midwife and discovered I had no other symptoms of either syndrome, I calmed myself down and realized that my twitch was likely a result of being overtired.   Or you could say it was a symptom of supermom syndrome.

I also had a reality check yesterday when we had a prenatal visit with our labor doula yesterday, and when she asked how I was feeling, I burst into tears and remained weepy for the extent of our appointment.   I’ve been stretched too thin during the last few weeks.   I don’t have anyone to blame other than myself – my husband certainly doesn’t care if I don’t wipe the kitchen counters one night and it doesn’t matter to my son whether or not we make the beds each morning.   My newborn won’t care if the garage is organized or not.  And my friends certainly will forgive me if I skip a girls’ night out.   I put the supermom and superwoman pressure on myself. 

So I’ve decided to cut myself some slack over the next 5 weeks or so, before baby is arrives.   The house doesn’t have to be perfect.   Non-urgent projects at work can wait.  We can order take out occasionally.  Dylan can watch Toy Story 2 so I get an hour and a half of peace.   I will take up my mother in law’s offer to bring us some food and watch Dylan one afternoon.   Laundry can pile up for a few days.   I can get into bed at 8pm at night.   I can even burst into tears now and then and not feel like a crazy hormonal person.   

Have any of you been plagued by the supermom syndrome lately?


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My experience with a midwife thus far

As I announced in a previous post, I am pregnant with my second child, and decided this time to use a midwife, rather than an OB, as my care provider during my pregnancy.  My first pregnancy was fine and I was under the care of a great OB.  However, I was looking for something different this time.  I was looking for a model of care that is less medical and more personal.  So far it has been a great experience.  I am loving the care I am receiving from my midwife!

Here are a few examples.  I went to my midwife last week for one of my monthly checkups.  I am now almost 18 weeks pregnant.  When I go to my midwife, there aren’t tons of women sitting in a waiting room, like there was when I went to an OB appt.   The reason is that with a midwife there is no waiting!  Each one of my appointments has been precisely on time.   With my OB, I’d wait minimum one hour (sometimes two) and then would see the doctor for a maximum of 5 minutes.   Here, each appointment is a lovely and lengthy 45 minutes.

During my last appointment, my midwife went over the results of the blood work from my previous appointment.  With a midwife, there is no waiting in line at a lab for blood to be drawn.  My midwife draws my blood during my appointment.   She went over the results with me in detail – going through each element that had been tested.  With my OB, he’d just say “everything is fine”.  By going through the results, my midwife directly involves me in my care.   It is empowering to be involved!

Here is another example –  before each appointment, I pee on a stick to test for protein and glucose in my urine.  With the midwife, I am given the stick and told to compare it to a chart on the bottle to make sure everything is normal.  With my OB, I’d pee on a stick and then give it to his nurse for her to look at.  Just a very small difference, but with the midwife, I am an an active participant in my care.

I feel very lucky to live in Ontario where midwifery is governmentally regulated and covered by our universal health care plan.   I feel lucky that I have the choice to use a midwife and that I have the choice to give birth either at a hospital or at home.    So far the experience has been just wonderful!!  I will keep you all updated with my experience as my pregnancy progresses.

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