There have been so many amazing nuggets of information that I am learning from this book. I plan to share some of them with you here!
Brene asks a question in the book: “Do you believe that in general, people are doing their best?”.
I’d like to know – Do YOU think people are doing their best?
This is a tough question! My knee jerk repsonse to this is no – everyone can do better. I often think that I can do better – I can be more patient with my kids, kinder to my husband, more efficient with my time, a better coach, daughter, friend etc.
Brene shares the answer of her husband – he said that if we believe that people are doing their best, it will make our lives more peaceful.
How does this work? If you start believing that other people are doing their best, you can stop judging them. You can start accepting them for who they are, and showing more kindness to them – and this will make you feel at peace.
For example – if my kids are jumping on the bed and running around screaming and chasing each other and basically having fun but driving me crazy before bed, I can chose to be annoyed and frustrated with them. On the flipside, I can assume that they are doing their best. They are acting like kids and maybe I haven’t created a restful bedtime atmosphere – maybe I haven’t specifically spelled out my bedtime expectations. Once I stop judging their behaviour, I can enjoy the moment I am having with them – and perhaps even receive some joy from their enthusiastic and fun-filled spirits.
Brene asked hundreds of people this question in her research for the book. She learned that people who answer yes – people who believe others are trying their best – are people who set boundaries in their lives, who practice self-care, and who take care of themselves. Because they take care of themselves, they are able to extend compassion towards others. It is hard to extend compassion to other people when you are burnt out, putting yourself last and doing things you don’t want to do. When that happens – you tend to believe that other are NOT doing their best.
I know as busy moms, we tend to not set clear boundaries, overextend ourselves and become resentful. I definitely do this from time to time!
I know that I want to truly believe that other people are doing their best – and I want people to believe that about me too. I want my life to be more peaceful. Brene reminded me about the importance of self-care. I am going to continue to work on adding practices of self care to my life and only saying yes to things I truly want to do.
I’d love to know what you think about this topic. Do you think people are doing their best?
I’m putting together my next 21 day health and fitness challenge. We start January 4th. If you have been wanting to start taking better care of yourself – this is the perfect opportunity! Join my supportive community of women who support each other on their journies towards better health. Be a part of our group – work out everyday for 30 mins from the comfort of your home, learn about portion controlled clean eating and enrich your mind, body and spirit! If you want more info, please shoot me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org and I will get back to you ASAP with the details about the challenge.
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