Sheryl Jesin


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Do you believe people are doing their best?

I shared last week that I am currently listening to the audio version of Brene Brown’s new book “Rising Strong”.

There have been so many amazing nuggets of information that I am learning from this book.  I plan to share some of them with you here!

Brene asks a question in the book:  “Do you believe that in general, people are doing their best?”.

I’d like to know – Do YOU think people are doing their best?

This is a tough question!  My knee jerk repsonse to this is no – everyone can do better.  I often think that I can do better – I can be more patient with my kids, kinder to my husband, more efficient with my time, a better coach, daughter, friend etc.

Brene shares the answer of her husband – he said that if we believe that people are doing their best, it will make our lives more peaceful.

How does this work?  If you start believing that other people are doing their best, you can stop judging them.  You can start accepting them for who they are, and showing more kindness to them – and this will make you feel at peace.

For example – if my kids are jumping on the bed and running around screaming and chasing each other and basically having fun but driving me crazy before bed, I can chose to be annoyed and frustrated with them.  On the flipside, I can assume that they are doing their best.  They are acting like kids and maybe I haven’t created a restful bedtime atmosphere – maybe I haven’t specifically spelled out my bedtime expectations.  Once I stop judging their behaviour, I can enjoy the moment I am having with them – and perhaps even receive some joy from their enthusiastic and fun-filled spirits.

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A peaceful moment after crazy bedtime shenanigans

Brene asked hundreds of people this question in her research for the book.  She learned that people who answer yes – people who believe others are trying their best – are people who set boundaries in their lives, who practice self-care, and who take care of themselves.  Because they take care of themselves, they are able to extend compassion towards others.  It is hard to extend compassion to other people when you are burnt out, putting yourself last and doing things you don’t want to do.  When that happens – you tend to believe that other are NOT doing their best.

I know as busy moms, we tend to not set clear boundaries, overextend ourselves and become resentful.  I definitely do this from time to time!

I know that I want to truly believe that other people are doing their best – and I want people to believe that about me too.  I want my life to be more peaceful.  Brene reminded me about the importance of self-care.   I am going to continue to work on adding practices of self care to my life and only saying yes to things I truly want to do.

I’d love to know what you think about this topic.  Do you think people are doing their best?

I’m putting together my next 21 day health and fitness challenge.  We start January 4th.  If you have been wanting to start taking better care of yourself – this is the perfect opportunity!  Join my supportive community of women who support each other on their journies towards better health.  Be a part of our group – work out everyday for 30 mins from the comfort of your home, learn about portion controlled clean eating and enrich your mind, body and spirit!  If you want more info, please shoot me an email at sheryl@ikor.com and I will get back to you ASAP with the details about the challenge. 

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How do you wake up at 5am?

Yesterday I wrote a blog post on why I enjoy waking up at 5am, and what I do when I wake up early.

Today I am going to write about HOW to make it happen – it’s easy to say that you want to wake up early – but how do you actually force yourself to get out of a warm cozy bed…especially in the fall/winter when it is cold and dark?

Here’s what I do:

Just do it!

I cannot force myself to go to bed early.  I really just cannot.  I can’t make myself go to bed early just so I can wake up the next morning at 5.   When I did my five day 5 am challenge, before the first day I just went to bed at my usual time (around midnight).  And I set up alarm for 5am and just got up.  I knew I would be tired by the end of the day, but that was good thing!  I literally could not keep my eyes open past 10pm the first day.  And that made getting up the next day that much easier!  The second day I was asleep by 9pm – which to me is perfect as it gives me 8 hours of sleep.  So – don’t force yourself to go to sleep early.  Instead – force yourself to wake up early for the first few days, and you will then automatically start going to bed early.

Find accountability partners!

For me – this is KEY!  I posted on Facebook that I was doing a 5 day 5am challenge and was looking for some friends to support me.  A few responded, I got their cell phone numbers, and now I send out a text to them at 5:30am every morning and we tell each other what workout we will be doing.  I feel accountable to them – and I will not let them down!  It is much easier to talk myself out of an early wakeup if no one is counting on me.  But when my friends are counting on me – I get up and I get to it! If you need an accoutability partner – that is what I am here for!  Add me as a friend on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/sheryjesin and we can exchange numbers – I would love to add you to our accountability group.

Get ready the night before!

I know I will be working out first thing when I wake up, so I get ready for that.  For me that means laying out my workout clothes and planning which workout I will be doing.  Picking out my outfit only takes a few minutes, but I would rather do it the night before to save time.  Also – I find when I wear a cute workout outfit, it motivated me to push a bit harder.  Does that happen to you too?  LOL.  I will also spend 10-20 mins before bed tidying up, emptying the dishwasher, picking out the kids’ clothes and making at least part of their lunches.  It feels good knowing these things are done and it means I have more time for ME first thing in the morning.

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Do you wake up early?  Do you have any tips to add on how you make it happen?


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Three week update

Today Alexandra is three weeks old!  Hard to believe just three short weeks ago I was pregnant and wondering when my sweet little baby would be joining us.  

Things are going well, all things considered.  I’m not going to lie – it has been exhausting with the boys home from school over winter break, and that is even with a lot of help from Jake and my parents.  The popular new mom saying “sleep when the baby sleeps” makes a lot of sense in theory, but in practice is quite hard to implement with a third child.  The boys are go go go all day long, and I’d love to catch a quick nap during the day, but it just isn’t happening even though Alex sleeps quite well during the day.  Nighttime is a different story.  3-5 am seems to be party time and at all hours of the day and night she is a noisy sleeper and her strange grunts, squeaks and snorts keep this mama awake.  With a third child, I have some perspective in that I know that she will sleep more at night EVENTUALLY and one day I will miss her newborn sounds. 

Adjusting to life with three kids is taking some time.  I’ve just now figured out how to manage during the day on my own with all three of them.  It involves a lot of organization, even more patience and a bit of humour.  Today was probably our best day so far.  I managed to make, serve and clean up breakfast, lunch and dinner for all of us, keep the house in decent order, do a few loads of laundry and  everyone was relatively happy.  This happened without the boys watching TV all day (just one movie), so I feel good about that.

I remember when Dylan was born I was afraid to be alone with him for the first few weeks.  If Jake had to go out, I would make my mom come over.  It seems so funny now, because when Jake takes the boys out and I am alone with Alex, it feels like a vacation!  

In terms of post partum exercise, I am quite anxious to get started again.  I’ve gone for a few walks, done a Nike Training Club workout, and done a few planks and push ups here and there.  I really miss spinning and running but will be waiting a bit to get back into both of those.  I know it is important that I rest now and let my body heal from birth.  Waiting a few more weeks won’t make a difference in the long run, but starting too early could lead to injury, and I want to avoid that.  It is humbling that just over a year ago I could run a half marathon (that’s 21km!!) no problem, and now I’m not sure I could even run 1km continuously.  I know that my body has been through a lot and giving birth is a huge physical accomplishment in itself, but I really miss my hard workouts!

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